DISILLUSIONMENT of MARRIAGE – and what will make it WHOLE

men-women-holding-handsWhen I FINALLY got married, you can be sure I was EXCITED!! FINALLY I would have CART BLANCHE ACCESS to all that I had DREAMED ABOUT with a woman. It was LEGAL NOW! Outside of marriage I could see why SEX would be wrong… THIS was GOD’S WAY!

…You can imagine my surprise and disillusionment when I discovered that my wife didn’t share the same “DREAMS”! It didn’t take me long into the marriage to be truly sent into a whirlwind of dejection, frustration and anger!

You see, I had gone into marriage for what I would GET from it. and when I didn’t GET what I wanted… well, you know how that is. And WHO’S FAULT is it… obviously hers!

Its okay to feel sorry for me… sure. You know how it is. And how do I KNOW you know how it is?

We have all been educated in the same way by this world and its “Stinkin’ Thinkin'”

Simple thought for the day.

“God did not create marriage for what you would Get – But for what you could Give”

Your SPOUSE will NEVER be able to fill “Your Cup” in a way that makes you WHOLE. She will never meet the NEED of your soul in a way that makes you WHOLE.

Its not that you weren’t meant to BE and FEEL “WHOLE”- but GOD’S DESIGN is that you FIND in HIM, in His son JESUS that “WHOLENESS”.

He can and wishes to FILL YOUR CUP  with Himself. Seek Him and you will Find Him and when you cast yourself upon Him, to KNOW HIM and be KNOWN by Him you will find that his drink allows you to never thirst again.

When you are IN HIM – being FILLED by Him – and not looking elsewhere for something to “fill your cup” Then you are FREE to FINALLY really LOVE!

In marriage we are called to LOVE. Not so as to GET (because that is not LOVE at all but Manipulation). No… we are called to LOVE our wives as Christ loved the church – laying down his life for her. SELFLESS LOVE is PURE LOVE – the GOOD STUFF.

When you are GOOD with GOD and abiding in that relationship daily, you then start to see people as HE sees them. You can now seek their highest good (which is pleasure in of itself – think of the last time you gave a gift from your heart and what joy it was to give it?) The gift of GOD to you is that you can GIVE daily, regardless if it is accepted or not makes no difference. Because you realize that HOW YOU TREAT OTHERS, HOW YOU LOVE (be it your enemy) – IS HOW YOU ARE TREATING GOD HIMSELF. (That is why he says you are a liar if you say you love God but don’t love another)

Marriage needs to be Re-Examined from this perspective as it then starts to become beautiful and gives glory to God. Where LOVE is… There is God.

Marriage doesn’t make you WHOLE. Your SPOUSE doesn’t make you WHOLE. Work, Play, Accomplishments, Identity… don’t make you WHOLE. – Only Jesus.


The Anatomy of Lust


It is important to break down and see what LUST really is for one to realize just how BAD and WRONG it is.

“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye – even your good eye – causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand – even your stronger hand – causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” Matt. 5:27

Thanks be to Jesus who can transform and set you free – FREE to SEE how God Sees – Free to then LOVE as God Loves. Rather then TAKING – you will be made into a GIVER – This is what Jesus can do. But it starts with his light being shed abroad into your heart and not allowing lies or darkness to have a hold on you – Run to Jesus.

What is Your Identity?

What is your IDENTITY?

Companies have their “Brand Identities” which distinguish WHO they ARE, why they are DIFFERENT from others, What makes them SPECIAL and WHY you should SHOP with THEM. People seek and create their own “Brand Identities” in order to establish their WORTH. It is either derived from accomplishments, their personalities, their talent, their looks, their job, their reputation, etc..

What is your identity IN?

Have you “placed stock” in any of the above?

What if that was taken away?

Say you got in a car wreck and lost your abilities? lost your “looks”, lost your job, your accomplishment was overturned or you were discredited for whatever reason, lies leveled at you and believed which tarnished in the public’s eye your reputation… just say that happened… where would that leave you?

The reality is any time someone PURSUES IDENTITY, or seeks to HOLD ONTO their identity, or PROTECTS their identity, Places STOCK in their own identity – IS BECAUSE – WE CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK. Their APPROVAL is what we’ve deemed as ALL THAT MATTERS.

Unfortunately, when men are about the business of caring what people think you cannot entertain, nor truly concern yourself simultaneously with what God Thinks.

And that their is the CRUX of the problem or the place where the “soul’s route” hits a place that diverges.

Will you CHOOSE to live for what PEOPLE THINK and CARE ABOUT or will you choose to live for what GOD THINKS and CARES ABOUT?

It is a decision of such magnitude that will consequentially effect EVERY AREA of your LIFE. Each have their own DICTATES that are POLAR OPPOSITE from each other. WHAT or WHOM will you OBEY?

God’s ways are not your ways. In fact he says what men esteem – He HATES (and vice versa).

Here is the Question… Which do you FEAR MORE? What PEOPLE think or what God Thinks?

Always worthwhile to contemplate and evaluate things of this nature.

What are the long term consequences of such a decision?

It’s your life! and your decision! You stand ALONE before God. And if God be God… serve Him!

This is a CROSSROADS… people make decisions here before they travel on. Which way are you going?


Talking about “IT” Cause we NEED to.

FREEDOMimageI remember hearing of a male porn star sharing that if “christian men” stopped looking at porn that the whole industry would collapse.

I believe it. The problem is of such an epidemic level, of men ensnared with not just porn but the entangled obsession of lust. We live in a day and age where the accessibility is just a click of a button away and there has been a VOID in way of leadership and VOICE towards young men that would lead them to believe that one could actually navigate and survive this morass. Most men have caved in to the belief that they will never be free and must just come to terms with their nature and their weakness. To say marriages have been undermined and men’s faith shaken is an understatement.

To broach upon this subject there is such HOPELESSNESS with men and a genuine terror, especially for those who know the Word and within their hearts the conviction runs deep. There is no doubt that men’s consciences (aside from those who have just seared theirs over the years) are severely being convicted. If I were to once again suggest that everything done in secret will be shouted from the housetops I know men’s hearts plummet within their chests. The truth is that conviction is present because THIS is what the Holy Spirit came to do and it is THAT WRONG (for sooo many reasons). Is God so cruel that He would point something out within us without providing that needed to remedy it? A problem is that when convicted, most men (and women) just remain “sorry” for their sin and try to heap upon that sin Good Things , sort of like an air freshener.  But still the problem persists! They discover that their nature is weak and will never overcome that nature. They need a NATURE GREATER then their own.

I know what it means to slink around and be ensnared… a slave of sin. We know what a slave is one who obeys his Master’s dictates. Men would like to excuse that their “Battle” with Lust as merely a struggle here and there… but for most, it has been a slavery and road of deepening bondage that began at a young age. Appetite grows every time it is fed and the eye never satisfied. Of course we are dealing with something that has been so swept aside… so locked up behind closed doors through shame. The truth is that if you have a room in your heart that Satan has a key to… who owns that house? Such HEINOUS stuff is going on… and it IS SHAMEFUL  what is going on. No need here to talk on specifics.

We must bring, not just this topic, but this issue into the light.

I think of in John 3 where he lays out the verdict. Light has come into this world but men loved the darkness more… less their deeds be exposed. The issue is NOT that men can’t be free, its that they are terrified to LET GO of that which they’ve always gone to for pleasure, for they have been fed from this pig pen all their days and they can’t imagine life without it. They blame God for not “taking it away” or changing them in some miraculous way… but this is no fault of God. God has made a way, but to follow and obey would mean to surrender ones self to a God and discover and experience HE IS ENOUGH… HE IS SUFFICIENT (which most never have had testimony of). it actually takes a ACT of FAITH to STEP INTO THE LIGHT… and be completely exposed. Many have stepped into the light in way of confession only to step back into the darkness. We see that confession does not bring freedom. Confession is great but if it is not met with REPENTANCE, in other words to SEVERE OUR FLESH and TURN and WALK THE OTHER WAY… to actually PICK UP YOUR CROSS, and DIE so that YOU MIGHT LIVE… -One must RUN to Jesus… not aimlessly – but to the Savior Himself. No other one can do what Jesus can.

Jesus CAME to SET MEN FREE. That was HIS PURPOSE. He did NOT die on a cross and RISE AGAIN so that you could remain in your sin. Some sadly stew in their sin with such pride and arrogance claiming the LOVE of God all the while as their “pass” and their “authentic-ness” as what God is pleased with. Sadly, if you live by the flesh … you will surely die.

AND THAT… is why this is SUCH A BIG HUGE HONKIN’ ISSUE that needs to be dealt with.

Here it is… You CAN be FREE. You can ACTUALLY have those shackles, those habits OBLITERATED. TODAY. Run to Jesus as though your life depended on it. YES CONFESS. But TURN… TURN to Jesus and let HIM take every thought captive. Let HIM be your source. Every temptation HE makes a way of escape. ABIDE in HIM… meaning PRAY at ALL TIMES with ALL KINDS Of PRAYERS. It is not a one time DEAL-E-O… NO! Daily take up your cross and FOLLOW HIM.

Truth is most people live a life cloaked in a religious sham and justify continuing to live and hold on to their sin. But that can all change with Jesus. (now when I talk of Jesus, I’m talking about the Jesus revealed in scripture… not this “God” that has been formed in people’s image… His ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. While he Loves us… He hates sin and is opposed to the Proud. It would be best for us to learn of who He is. Seek Him and You will Find Him.


Love you.

The Inevitable Reality


Days are fleeting like hairs atop my head. When in High School I knew the inevitable  would occur… that I would be bald. Just like my forefathers. There was no denying I would share their lot. But, how quickly that day would come where I was only fooling myself by combing the few remaining strands. I was considered bald by 27… no more “he’s going bald” no. “He’s bald!” Just like that.

You never notice the flight of days until you look in hindsight.

Now, truth be told I’m happy to be bald. I don’t have to worry about that stuff any longer… I’ve accepted it.

But what I’m thinking about this morning is not about hair, nor about how fast the days pass us by. No. I’m thinking about what is inevitably before each of us. Each of us will stand before the one who created us. STOP!! Think about that! (did you just read those words?) YOU… WILL STAND BEFORE GOD! Do you believe that? Wow…

That day approaches, steadily marching towards us and some of us live on the brink of that being our reality soon tomorrow.

Why it’s important, unlike me concerning myself with my hair, is that on that day, our very soul will be placed within the Judge’s hand.

Many will take comfort in thinking about the fact that God is loving. And he is!! He loves the whole world and he gave His ALL that you might have life. But the question is not whether HE LOVES US but… Do you love God?

It is a wild promise that God makes to us… that everyone’s Secret Life will be Exposed. It will all be brought into the light on that day (not to say that this very day it is all in the light before Him… but on that day it will all be brought out into the open. THERE, in that place… in that secret place… with all that is drudged forth… Do you Love God?

Thank GOD, this is new day that he has created that we have the opportunity to be glad and rejoice in Him IF we come into the light and there live under his full gaze. For there in that place is freedom, peace and joy.

When we meet him Face to Face… will you and I be ready for that encounter? Or did we put it off thinking there would be another day to prepare for such a meeting as that? That day will come and God says it will come as a Thief in the Night. That day will be your Reality someday soon. Examine yourself this day and lets see if we are in the faith. If we are right with him. That there is nothing that stands in the way. That we are not holding on to anything that God condemns. Let us hold on to Him and seek him while he might be found.


Valley of Decision

“Thousands upon thousands are waiting in the valley of decision. There the day of the Lord will soon arrive.” – Joel 3:14

Are you ready to meet your maker? Does not your soul within tremble and quake when you think of the one that fashioned the earth in the palm of his hand? And how amazing that He is mindful of us… though we be like grass. All I know is that the soul not bent low before the King of the World upon his return will be destroyed. “That is why the Lord says, “Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts. Come with fasting, weeping and mourning. Don’t tear your clothing in your grief but tear your hearts instead.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish.” (Joel 2:12)

… “tear your hearts instead”. God, lead us this day to consider YOU and your reality and the quick approaching moment we’ll stand before you. Search us and shine your light upon everything that might be an offense to you that we’ve allowed within our lives. Don’t let us find justifications or “outs” but have your way within us. Scour us clean your way, removing any entangling sins and set our hearts right with you… for you are worthy of our lives. May we die this day to ourselves and be awakened by your Holy Spirit – give us a New Heart, and set us in the course of righteousness. We desire to know what pleases you and what will bring a smile to your face. Teach us your ways. And may our delight be in you.